All posts filed under: Food

A Celebration of the Frito’s Corn Chip

If you were to ask me to name quite simply capitalism’s single greatest achievement in regards to food, I would be the first to point to the Fritos Corn Chip, a product of elegance and simplicity that offers just the same junky nutritional value of the plain and rather boring potato chip, and quite possibly the far more soothing one for the soul. It’s not hard to see why when you take a look at the ingredients for these tasty edibles that hit the gut with some much welcome satiety and non-addictive qualities that many associate with those crispy spuds: corn, corn oil, and salt. No chemicals, no flavoring, no weird shit that makes you say “What the fuck?!” Just the bare essentials, nothing more, nothing less. And while they may be accidentally so, the fact that they’re gluten and vegan friendly makes them a staple of my American stoner diet. Just don’t tell people I said they were healthy. And yet, there’s something quite magnanimous about these salty treats, as if they’re the only …

Dipping Donuts at Tim Hortons

The following is a review of the five “dip” doughnuts at the Tim Hortons located on Central Avenue in Toledo, OH. Vanilla dip   I asked for original But she heard vanilla Desolation inevitable I forged a smile Vapor rub and drippy lip Dipped just a little of my tip Piping hot and a slight roast I ripped my donut for the dunk Soak for 2 seconds Then splash on the up Begrudgingly I put The mush into my mouth Swapping texture for air The coffee was barely there.     Honey dip timber   I could only afford one So therefore I reform to inform That my vicious bite was so swift That flavor eluded to the gates of Valhalla   [editor’s note: Mike forgot to take the picture of this one] Original chocolate dip   A deep roast with a hint of bitter and dough This one’s a winner Just lay tongue on the coco And whisper I love you Chocolate dip   Stomach full Pocket light No looking forward to this delight Soft and lush …

cafe at the toledo museum of art – gouda and onion gnocchi (food, 2016)

Reviewing food is tough. 1) I’m not a food expert, nor would I pretend to be one. 2) I stopped eating meat two weeks ago. I’m torn between taking the plunge and partaking in an extravagant meal that happens to have meat or stick true to my guns and forgo the flesh. Part of my thought process hinges on the fact that I will be missing out on meals that my maybe? readers might want to read. That’s right, I’m confident someone will read this shitty food criticism. Such was my plight when I decided to take a trip to my local art museum and indulge myself in their “fancy” cafe. I’ve gone many times in the past and my go to dish has always been the salmon filet sandwich. Just a 6 oz cut of fish with some tzatziki like sauce and a tomato. The pickle on the side is just icing on the cake. Heading to the cafe, I started to worry. Yes, fish isn’t technically “meat”, but it comes from a living …