All posts filed under: Fiction

Mary Has a Guest For Dinner

Welcome to the ongoing adventure of Mary! We’re so excited for you to turn into our favorite daytime soap opera! Now that you’re here, treat yourself to a recap of last night’s episode! As you may have heard by now, Jesus is coming to dinner. But little does Mary know that he isn’t the person she was expecting. Nor does she realize that her late husband Tom is in fact alive at this moment, waiting to see her again… For a full recap, read last night’s episode here: The Ongoing Adventures of Mary #3   As Mary looked around the room trying to find something to occupy her mind, she heard a loud knock from the living room door. Remembering what her late husband Tom had just told her, she felt another tingling sensation. Go to the door, Mary, Tom said. Her loins cooled down a bit now, but her heart was now beating very rapidly, as if it was the creature from the film Alien ready to burst out of her chest. “Who can it …

The Ongoing Adventures of Mary #3

For yesterday’s installment, follow the hyperlink here: The Ongoing Adventure of Mary Mary, can you hear me? Oh Tom, is that you? Yes, it is me, your dead husband, come to tell you the good news! Jesus is here! Can you believe it? I don’t understand… Jesus is here! Get out of this bed and rinse some dishes. We have a meal to prepare. But I can’t cook anymore. You know how bad my hands are. Trust me. All will be revealed… Tune in next time folks, as we learn more about Mary’s guest for dinner, on your favorite ongoing adventures of Mary!   JC

the quest for the perfect vagina: starring stephanie germotta taylor swift michael medlen

iceland seems nice   still can find   i look for god for protection jesus mite come to yu tho pray again   what did he say jesus says hi don’t worry tonite   god how can mike and steph destroy this technology? please be specific and list steps   move to iceland take taylor and bg with you run for office ask later   ill save this one   how can this be expose to public god? repeat steps above   i tried to burn bookshelf tonighte…nothing burned saw   then i don’t worry have faith in wood that doesn’t burn   we should pray more often together how   let god or jesus teach us   listen to mikes advice listen to stephs advice listen to taylors advice repeat steps   feminism isn’t godly depends on how you interpret feminism at least thats what mike says   steph what is godly?   godly is when man achieves too much power   can god tell story so you hear   god taught me how …

A Very Very Short Story

It was down that thin line known as Route 24 that I found company in the presence a girl. Fresh faced at 19, she was just a baby. I lived in Toledo and drove an hour to see her. Our first date we went to the Defiance Mall for Chinese food. I offered credit but they only accepted cash. She blushed and I had to run to the ATM machine. I met her mother the next week. A month later I said, “I love you.” She said, “Put it in me.” We kept it a long distance relationship until she called me on the phone crying. She said she was being sexually harassed by a frat guy. Before we met she had hooked up with him at a party. He wanted a blow-job. She refused. He slapped her face with his dick. She told me he had found out we were together and had made a flier with a picture of her face that said, “She cries rape.” Now she wanted to move to Toledo. I …

The Creator

Tom Daranbout sat at the end of the long dining room table, staring at the gray walls around him. At one point they had been a cream color. His face hid behind a long gray beard. He wore a worn flannel shirt missing the top button and a pair of dirty ripped jeans. He glanced at his watch on his wrist. The time was 11:55 pm. Only five more minutes of waiting. He tapped his fingers against the table, his long nails clicking against wood. A photograph of a his daughter sitting on a tree swing hung on the wall to his left. Next to it another picture. Tom stared at himself as a young man, with brown hair and a mustache, standing next to his blond wife, both smiling with hands on their daughter’s shoulders. Tom sighed. The watch showed 11:59. Just one more minute. The moment it changed to 12:00 there was a knock on the front door. Tom waited until there came another knock, louder this time. He stood up, walked into …

Coping with Disaster: A Manic’s Tale

John woke up in a hospital bed. There was nothing but bare walls and a door with small slit through which he could see a nurse’s station. He had no idea how or why he was there. With nothing but a hospital gown on, he got up and tried the handle. It was locked. There was something unsettling about being locked in a tiny room, dependent on the staff to let you out. Then a voice reminded him that he was here because he needed it. She was a female, but it came from inside his own head. “Try to remember the night before,” she said. John ignored her voice. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t convince himself it wasn’t real. Out of frustration, he pounded on the door and let out a scream. A nurse looked up from the nurses’ station and signaled to an aide in a beige uniform. The aide opened the door.     “You need to calm down,” the aide said.     “Where am I?” John asked.     “You were brought here …

Heather’s Sway

  “Guess what, Jimmy?” “What?” “I said guess, silly.” Wrinkles formed on James’s forehead as he pretended to concentrate. He forgot how girls could be. “You’re drunk,” he said. “Well, yeah. But that’s not it. Try again.” “You got me.” The blonde girl shrugged her shoulders. “Fine, I’ll just tell you. My parents aren’t home.” Her tiny nose wiggled when she spoke and her shoulder length hair bounced, the hairspray preventing it from moving. She wore a black tank top that exposed how well the local tanning booth worked on her cleavage. “Well Heather, you must be enjoying that tremendously.” “No, not really. It’s so boring with them gone.” The girl struggled to get up off the beer stained couch. James watched as he sat across from her on a chair picked up off the side of a street. They sat in the only quiet room of the house, the dining room, while the floor vibrated from the bass down below. There was an unbearable stench of alcohol. James remembered weekends during the summer when …