Whatever Happened to Melanie Martinez

An exclusive with the artist formally known as

Doo doo doo

Crybaby

So Melanie, now that we’ve gotten comfortable with each other over the weekend, let’s just cut to the chase. What the hell happened since your major league debut album “Crybaby” went platinum.

Have you died or are you just hibernating for your magnanimous return…

Mel: Well, sir, thank you for taking the time to interview me first and foremost. But as for my return, yes, I have an album in the works, though I can’t say what it’s called yet.

Mike [brushes hair behind ear]: That’s swell. Not let me just cut to the chase. You’re hot, and I’m interested in using you for a film. But I hear you have your own project in the works. What’s up with that?

Mel: Can I talk about it?

Mike: Only if we keep this special connection, well, special. Agreed?

Mel: Yes…

[to be continued]

And now, an ad brought to you by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Sponsored by McDonald’s, of course…

Alright Mel, now that we’re back from our, um, break, if you will, can I promise to keep this intimate and safe if you agree to our own private connection that allows us to work together.

Mel: Sure, but I like to talk. A lot.

Mike: Wow popcicle, [mike now sucks on a superman pop], that’s swell. Me too.

Mel [now with her own pink popcicle–too busy sucking on it]

Mike: Now takes pinky and rubs it around a green bottle of Heineken.

Mel [sucks on a bottle Mich Ultra]

Mike: Well folks, I guess you got our personalities down. This won ain’t backing down.

Now where’s the poetry…

[to be continued…]

About Michael Medlen

My name is Michael and during my free time I avoid having a day job. Strangely enough, this gives me the freedom to run this blog. I write just about anything that can be considered art. I also occasionally post articles that may or may not be relevant to the theme of this site. You’ve been warned.
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