ER Returns

And now for our favorite star!

Cue Law and order title and music!

Selena walks into bar. Sits next to Fassbender. Sweats slightly. Slaps hand on table.

Selena: Waiter, give me a 20!

Fassenbender looks over. Suddenly in cowboy attire. Selena has black dresss on, push up bra and cleavage slightly exposed.

Waiter brings over bottle of jack. Waits for tip.

Selena: Well, what are you waiting for? You gonna poor it?

Bartender looks disgruntled. Pours a shot.

Fassenbender: Not gonna put ice in that.

Selena: Double that. Put that on rocks! Slams down another 20.

Fassenbender smirks and takes small sip. :So what’s a gal like you doing in this bar?

Selena: Me, I’m just here to look cool. Guess who gets paid tho?

Fassbender: let me guess, teh writer?

cue law and order title.

And now a break from our sponsors!

Al Pacino walks on camera. Everyone could use a defense lawyer, just sayin’…

Fassbender swipes al away. Slide transition. Now, let’s get this straight. You’re saying you’re here to stop a bomb!

Mexican sombrero dude: Oi, did someone say bomb! [jumps behind counter]

Selena: slams another one back. I think I need a new line.

Fassbender shrugs. : We all need a gucci!

Selena: Now has gucci bag around arm: This is nice. [reaches in for cell phone] Mom, cancel dinner. I might have a new date.

Fassbender: I take it I’m not taking you home tonight.

Selena: Slams antoher down. [Make that a double]!

Fassbender: I’m impressed.

Selena: Shrugs, takes another swig. Gags a little from the heat. Oi mi corozone.

Two Mexican ambulance drivers rush in with cardboard ambulences. :Oi, did someone say mi corozone!

Selena: Awesome! Now I’m never going on a date.

Fassbender: If you want, i could get us outta here.

Mexican er dudes look at Rolexes. : We got all day.

Selena shrugs. Takes another swig. :Fuck it, let’s go.

cue: law and order title.

Al again: Just sayin’, everyone could use a good defense lawyer. Flames spit out behind him. Horns suddenly appear on head.

Fassbender now has horns: v.o. That’s when I knew I had her in my wings.

Selena now driving cool car with black and white background: v.o. These men think they can write my lines. Wait till I show them who’s boss!

Tony Danza: offscreen: Did someone say “who’s the boss”

Selena: No! I said who’s boss.

Tony Danza: Oh, I’ll wait to my next line.

Fassbender: How’s she gonna drive whn her leg can’t reach the pedal.

Selena: Pulls out phone from crotch. Under skirt. No suggestion. :Let’s call an uber.

back to bar. Selena has phone in hand. v.o. that’s how he gets, me , huh!

Fassbender: Just say something cool and make it look cool.

Selena: Shrugs again. I can do this anytime.

Quentin and Speilberg in rafters smile down to them. Mike behind counter.

Mike: Sure about that, ma’am.

Selena: v.o. No one’s ever called me a mrs. before. Is that him!

Fassbender: That’s the writer.

Selena: blushes through those cute cheeks. v.o.: God, he’s so dumb.

Med: That’ll be a rum and coke, correct.

Selena: I wanna go home.

Fassbender steps in: I’ll fix this. Just say you want to write yourself out of this again.

Quentin now behind bar.

Selena: v.o.: Whisphers, God, I’m ready.

Quentin: Sure aboutthat Mrs?

Fassbender shakes head laughing.

Selena pouts. You guys think I’m dumb, don’t you. Throws glass at counter. Glass bounces and hits Mexican behind her.

Selena: Dammit, I’m calling mom. Runs out of bar.

Fassbender: Well, that was quick.

cue to title screen. law and order music plays.

About Michael Medlen

My name is Michael and during my free time I avoid having a day job. Strangely enough, this gives me the freedom to run this blog. I write just about anything that can be considered art. I also occasionally post articles that may or may not be relevant to the theme of this site. You’ve been warned.
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One Response to ER Returns

  1. gbabeteam says:

    Nice one 👍

    Like

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