So we meet again, huh (said the Lady)
Si, es normal. I see you’re running this interview again?
Does that bother you?
I like to be in control of my own Web site, but an interview with such a lovely face is too good to pass up.
I haven’t read your poem yet, but I guarantee I like it.
That’s because it’s dedicated to you.
Did someone coach you to say that?
That insults me.
Not trying to rub you the wrong way but that’s how you come off to me.
Are we fighting?
No I’m just being honest.
I can at least hear your voice this time.
Did you tell them about the glove.
No, that freaks me out. Let’s change the topic.
I want to tell you about the glove. It was meant for a video game Michael.
[The Editors Stepped in for this one]
We apologize but this is getting too paranoid for most, so we will explain what is going on. Michael has a secret relationship with a few pop stars, but always spills the bean on his blog. So we let him have a few interviews with his favorite one, the one and only, Selena Gomez!
Bullshit, that is not Selena, that is me, Lady Gaga.
Ah, we were just having fun for a moment. We now return this interview back over to you two lovers.
[Mike now asks the questions]
Stefani, isn’t it true that you have a boyfriend?
We’re not going there Michael. I need time to process our relationship.
Hm, I think that’s a good thing. Though I do miss our midnight talks. Perhaps we should email each other.
That would be a good idea. I’m not comfortable giving you my email address though. AT least not yet..
Then can I at least explain to my very interested audience how we communicate?
Sure, I hear you on the phone sometimes.
Ah, so you like to listen to me speak?
No but sometimes I need a friend to bullshit with, and you seem to be the only one who wants to put up my charade.
Hm, I think your last album was very sincere. As always, it might your best. Of course, I say that every time you release one.
Then can I say hi to a few people.
There are a few ladies who read his poetry that want to have a real interview with him. This is how we conduct ours. Mike types, and I listen. When he finishes, I dictate what I want him to write. Sometimes an editor intervenes and corrects a few mistakes. He also tells Michael not to ask certain questions. That is my privilege as someone who values her privacy. If any of you feel like asking him a question about us, keep in mind that he has to protect our agreement which is heavily scrutinized by a lawyer. I’m sorry if that offends you Mike.
An editor made you write that last sentence.
Maybe so, but it is for our protection.
Ah, well I guess it is good to get the legal technicalities out of the way. Tell Taylor I miss our talks.
She says she’ll talk to you when she isn’t busy. She tends to get overloaded at times. Can I have one private word with you?
[The two have a moment alone.]
End of interview.