Ah, after what felt like an eternity, I finally did it. I hit a home run!
I finally got on the incumbent mayor Paul Hick’s Hudson’s team for relection in Toledo, OH. To be exact, I was invited to work on her finance campaign, something that may not be near and dear to my heart and yet something that I feel will help my career in politics, whatever the hell that means.
Yeah, I’ll learn some new skills. And yeah, I’ll probably meet some new folks, perhaps a cute girl or two (I wish I was joking), but the best part is the free coffee I’ll get every day, and even the occasional coke. You see, when you work the local democrats, you get free coffee. All the time. So much you have to go for a walk and pee around the corner when the back room is packed and you can’t squeeze into the bathroom. Don’t tell the mayor I said that tho.
Even better, the soup kitchen is right across from the parking lot. And no, I’m not embarrased to say I go there for a free lunch or two, sometimes even dinner. You have to try it. The food is delice to say the least (just don’t ask for cheese in your mashed potatoes!–yuck!).
So there you have it. I got what I wanted. Now I have to call people and beg for money, and schmooze with the best and brightest (and even richest) folks Ohio has to offer. And I say that with a compliment, these people are fun. They know how to get shit done and even get you invited to the rotary club, if I can find one. But that’s another story for another day!
And yes, I’m going to shake that woman’s hand. And yes, I’m going to remind her we need a arthouse film theater, and some basketball courts. Maybe even open the swimming pools again. Or just make her laugh. I like her smile.
And yeah, my colleagues might read this. What can you do, I need a pseudonym!