Art, Scripts
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Lead up to the superbowl (A screenplay)

PATRIOT’S LOCKER ROOM – NRG STADIUM – MORNING

BILL BELICHICK
Well folks, big day’s here. Are you guys ready to play some football.

LADY GAGA walks into the room wearing skimpy NFL shirt and tight daisy dukes, of the jean variety. Players are in disbelief.

TOM BRADY
What the hell’s she doing here?

LADY GAGA
How’s it going boys?

BILL BELICHICK
Told you boys I had a surprise for you.

TOM BRADY
Ha. I knew it.

BLACK DUDE (PROBABLY A RUNNING BACK)Ah shit bitches. What are we in for Bill.
Two women in suits run into room with mic and disco stick (don’t ask).

LADY GAGA
Well boys… who’s in for a show to get you guys excited?

Applause errupts.

EDELMANThis is gonna be fun.

Lady Gaga grabs the mic and disco stick. There’s a loud mic noise followed by Gaga clearing her throat.

LADY GAGA
You boys ever seen a singer perform before the superbowl.

TOM BRADY
(to another player)
My wife’s gonna be so pissed.

LADY GAGA
I heard that one Tom. And guess what. You’re wife is going to join me!

GISELLE runs into the locker room

GISELLE
Hi boys. (blows kiss to Tom)

TOM BRADY
That’s my gal!

EDELMAN
Ah man. This is gonna be real fun!

BLACK DUDE (PROBABLY THE RUNNING BACK)
Now my wife is gonna be real pissed.

LADY GAGA
Well, don’t say that. Because all your wives were invited for this one!

50 HOT WOMEN run into locker room, dressed up as football players. Applause

BILL BELICHICK
Well guys, didn’t I tell you there was gonna be a surpise.

LADY GAGA
Ahem. Sorry Bill, but this is the ladie’s show now. And trust me, we don’t disappoint.

BILL BELICHICK
I’ll wait to see if you stand correct.

TOM BRADY

Don’t doubt the coach.

LADY GAGA
Well Bill, guess what. This Lady can handle a guy that doubts her.
(turns head to ladies who are now standing behind her)
Well ladies! Waddya say we get this show started.

The song “Bad Romance” starts blaring thru imaginary locker room speakers that honestly don’t exist.

LADY GAGA
Ra ra ra romana….

Lady Gaga starts singing while the wives start dancing awkwardly behind her. It’s comedic, kinda like Amy Schumaker’s scene in Trainwreck, except with supermodels.

After song is over, the football players all applaud.

LADY GAGA
Well Bill, how was that.

BILL BELICHICK
I stand corrected Lady.

LADY GAGA
Don’t worry Bill. It happens all the time.
(turns to ladies behind her)
Well ladies. How’d we do.

WOMEN
We won the superbowl didn’t we.

TOM BRADY
Damn.

GISELLE
So Tom. Who’s my MVP.

Tom blushes, Black Dude who’s probably the running back slaps him on the back.

BLACK DUDE (Who’s probably the running back)
Yeah Tom, who is her MVP?

Laughter.

End Film

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This entry was posted in: Art, Scripts

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My name is Michael and during my free time I avoid having a day job. Strangely enough, this gives me the freedom to run this blog. I write just about anything that can be considered art. I also occasionally post articles that may or may not be relevant to the theme of this site. You’ve been warned.

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