PATRIOT’S LOCKER ROOM – NRG STADIUM – MORNING
Well folks, big day’s here. Are you guys ready to play some football.
LADY GAGA walks into the room wearing skimpy NFL shirt and tight daisy dukes, of the jean variety. Players are in disbelief.
What the hell’s she doing here?
How’s it going boys?
Told you boys I had a surprise for you.
Ha. I knew it.
BLACK DUDE (PROBABLY A RUNNING BACK)Ah shit bitches. What are we in for Bill.
Two women in suits run into room with mic and disco stick (don’t ask).
Well boys… who’s in for a show to get you guys excited?
EDELMANThis is gonna be fun.
Lady Gaga grabs the mic and disco stick. There’s a loud mic noise followed by Gaga clearing her throat.
You boys ever seen a singer perform before the superbowl.
(to another player)
My wife’s gonna be so pissed.
I heard that one Tom. And guess what. You’re wife is going to join me!
GISELLE runs into the locker room
Hi boys. (blows kiss to Tom)
That’s my gal!
Ah man. This is gonna be real fun!
BLACK DUDE (PROBABLY THE RUNNING BACK)
Now my wife is gonna be real pissed.
Well, don’t say that. Because all your wives were invited for this one!
50 HOT WOMEN run into locker room, dressed up as football players. Applause
Well guys, didn’t I tell you there was gonna be a surpise.
Ahem. Sorry Bill, but this is the ladie’s show now. And trust me, we don’t disappoint.
I’ll wait to see if you stand correct.
Don’t doubt the coach.
Well Bill, guess what. This Lady can handle a guy that doubts her.
(turns head to ladies who are now standing behind her)
Well ladies! Waddya say we get this show started.
The song “Bad Romance” starts blaring thru imaginary locker room speakers that honestly don’t exist.
Ra ra ra romana….
Lady Gaga starts singing while the wives start dancing awkwardly behind her. It’s comedic, kinda like Amy Schumaker’s scene in Trainwreck, except with supermodels.
After song is over, the football players all applaud.
Well Bill, how was that.
I stand corrected Lady.
Don’t worry Bill. It happens all the time.
(turns to ladies behind her)
Well ladies. How’d we do.
We won the superbowl didn’t we.
So Tom. Who’s my MVP.
Tom blushes, Black Dude who’s probably the running back slaps him on the back.
BLACK DUDE (Who’s probably the running back)
Yeah Tom, who is her MVP?