If you were to ask me to name quite simply capitalism’s single greatest achievement in regards to food, I would be the first to point to the Fritos Corn Chip, a product of elegance and simplicity that offers just the same junky nutritional value of the plain and rather boring potato chip, and quite possibly the far more soothing one for the soul.
It’s not hard to see why when you take a look at the ingredients for these tasty edibles that hit the gut with some much welcome satiety and non-addictive qualities that many associate with those crispy spuds: corn, corn oil, and salt. No chemicals, no flavoring, no weird shit that makes you say “What the fuck?!” Just the bare essentials, nothing more, nothing less. And while they may be accidentally so, the fact that they’re gluten and vegan friendly makes them a staple of my American stoner diet. Just don’t tell people I said they were healthy.
And yet, there’s something quite magnanimous about these salty treats, as if they’re the only thing capable of quenching the rumblings in my tummy when I want something junky and yet filling. I’ll be the first to admit they’re quite heavy on calories, at 160 kcals for just a handful, and yet those calories are far more rewarding and filling than eating mindless on Pringles and Lays.
Of course, they are far less exotic and enticing when compared to their counterparts, those potato chips that have a dazzling array of flavors and textures, whether it be traditional or baked. And go generic and some brands might up the intake of ingredients to the point where you’re trying to figure out what they’re adding to differentiate from the real deal that is Frito. I’m not a food scientist, nor a connoisseur for that matter, and even I can detect a quality that can’t be replicated. There simply is no other type to compare, the Fritos Corn Chip is this vegan’s go to choice for snacks that can be said to have some rewarding merits.
I prefer my corn chips in the scoop style, perfectly edible on their own and yet a perfect for dips, my favorites being salsa and guacamole. They’re heartier than your average tortilla chip, sturdier than a pack of Lay’s, and quite the delicious pairing with some medium flavored chunky salsa. The rough texture of their design hits the tongue with a little abrasiveness, not quite smooth enough to gobble all down in a single gulp, and still just tasty enough to go back for a second handful.
If you’re feeling really gluttonous, or if you’re just stoned, throw a couple slices of American cheese on those bitches and pop in the microwave for 30 seconds. You’ve now made a gentrified version on nachos, whatever that means, and damn if they also do great with chili.
And did I mention they’re vegan, and gluten free? Forget those health food snacks, unlike popcorn, these snacks feel like mana. They hit your brain with some giddy delight, knowing you might be busting your waistline munching these down but damn if it won’t put a smile on your face.
And better yet, you might even get to save them for yourself. Not everyone can appreciate what the corn chip has to offer. Some might say they’re too plain, too rough, and just don’t have that greasy and addictive qualities that potatoes fried in vegetable oil offer. Fair enough, tho I might have to question your own taste in food if you make this argument. But then again, I like tofu. Maybe it’s just me.
So before you complain tonight that they’re nothing to snack on while you watch the latest episode of Scandal, might I suggest you tear open a bag of Fritos traditional and quality snack, and just let those corn based shells give your tongue something to react to?
Better yet, I’ll just have some myself.