I’ll never forget

I’ll follow love
And submit to grace
And yet it is a chase!

The Wild Goose Hunt–

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Two film pitches in one…

Dear Channing Tatum,

Get this! Magic Mike, he goes smaller. And get this, it’s called “Magic Mike Gets Smaller”. You know the guy who wrote the first two, get this, he writes the third one! But bro, give it to a woman this time. Heather Graham might be out of a job if we don’t save her from developmental hell.

PS. Schroeder is cool!


Dear Paul Schrader:

Taxi Driver is a masterpieces, albeit flawed because Scorsese totally misunderstood Raging Bull. Yeah, we heard that interview.

So, uh, can we get the rights to America Gigalo, so uh, we can make this film called American Gigalo 2: Son of the Gigalo.

Uh, please don’t get mad…

PS: No kidding, this film would star Richard Gere and Justin Bieber as the son. He’s kind of spoiled in this one, and it’s kinda of a comedy, but you so can’t write this one, cause we know how dark you get.

PSS: Hollywood apologizes for the Excorist film you did. But Nic Cage is so cool. IF only he could pay of his tax collectors.


Zoetrope Productions
The Coppola Family

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Metal: The Musical (film pitch)

To future investor Michael Bay,

On behalf of the Flawed Masterpieces magazine, we humbly submit to you the following film pitch:

Title: Metal: The Music

Starring: Elisha Dushku, Selena Gomez, and Lady Gaga

Directed by you of course!

Hook: A metal film for the ages, starring of all things, 4 hot ass chicks. Did we forget to mention that Beckinsale is the band’s producer? So here’s the pitch: 3 chicks see Michael Fassenbender and Justin Bieber perform in Mascara, while you host an impromptue metal performance shirtless! (Show the goods bro!) While this goes down, the chicks team up and kick some ass. Rest is history!

Now blow some shit up!

Potential songs:

Diary of Jane
Rock n’ Roll All Night
Wounded Hand

Good luck on getting the rights to that last one…

Genre 1: Musical
Genre 2: Blow some shit up! — Really, we need onstage explosions.

P.S. : Oh yeah, Selena quits the band and realizes she’s more of a pop fan, cause of Spice Girls and Shit. Dushku is the lead singer who has to fight to let Gaga in on the gig. Two chicks vie for the lead guitarist and singer spot while they realize one has to take a backseat and play bass. Guess what, that breaks up the band and shit.

Now, Go Full Schumacker and gay it up bro!

and please, blow some shit up…

Brought to you by Honest Trailers

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No way out

No way out
And yet no way in
With so much love
And nowhere to begin?

No way out
And yet no way in
With so much love
But she really did win?

With teeth to shine
And a heart to eat
No way out
And yet so much



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Sophia Coppola

Crook nose
Pursed lips
Gentle love…

With so much to give…

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From a poet to a poet (ii)

Who is Dan Schneider again?

[insert heart emoji]

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Brushed with tranquility,
Grace your purse,
While loving gently,

You were to nurse…

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